This page of the website briefly outlines the two years before your child's bar or bat mitzvah, highlighting the points in your preparation and planning that you should be addressing at about that time. 

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planner

Three years before…

       Your child is registered for AND attending religious school!

 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date assigned.

 Attend Long-term Planning meeting and receive an overview of online materials.

 Participate in B’nai Mitzvah Revolution (BMR) Programs.

12 – 18 Months before…

 Sisterhood sends out a schedule for obligatory set-up and serve dates for Bar/Bat Mitzvah parents.  If you do not receive schedule or notification, please call the synagogue.

 Set-up and serve Kiddush at 2 Shabbat services. 

 ­Receive and fulfill obligatory Shabbat Ambassador and Kiddush serving assignments. You are required to help others, as you will be helped.

Approximately 1 Year before…

     Your child is registered for AND attending religious school!

 Attend Mechina (Trope) Class on Sunday mornings with your child (8-9 sessions). 

 BM will be assigned a Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutor during Trope class.

 “3 Pillars” Mitzvah Program – Contact Cantor Steve to set up a meeting to discuss your child’s “3 Pillars”.

After Mechina (Trope) Class is complete…

 Begin weekly tutoring sessions, which will continue until the week of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.  Stay in contact with your child’s tutor to remain current on his or her progress.

 Begin attending Shabbat morning services with your child to become familiar with the service and help you and your child set expectations for their participation on their day.        

6 Months Before…

        Your child is registered for AND attending religious school!

 Attend Short-term Planning meeting and review online materials.

 Continue communication with your child’s tutor to stay current on progress, discuss goals for the day of the service, Friday evening service participation, etc.

 ­Communicate with our Ritual Director regarding Torah readings for other family members who can and would like to read Torah at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

 Make sure your child is on track with the “3 Pillars” requirements.

 Attend Shabbat services more frequently to build familiarity

 Acquire tallit for your child (required for boys; encouraged for girls).

4 Months Before…

 Shabbat Kiddush Coordinator in the Beth Shalom Office (Brenda Wasserman) needs the signed contract for the Kiddush.  Click here for b'nai mitzvah taking place after January 1, 2020.

 ­Set up time for pictures with Maria in the Beth Shalom office and/or vendors.

 Stay current on your child’s progress both with tutor and 3 Pillars program.

2 - 3 Months Before…

 ­Through Eli in the office, set up a meeting with Rabbi Ferratier to review various ritual topics, timetables and logistics for your simcha

 Review the BM Aliyah-Honor Sheet (You receive 3 aliyot to the Torah and ark opening in addition to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s Aliyah. Participants must be Jewish and over BM age.  A younger sibling may lead a blessing, such as Kiddush/Motzi).

 Brenda contacts you to discuss the menu and count for Kiddush.

6– 8 Weeks Before…

 ­Parents – Work on Parents’ Prayer for your child. You are encouraged to write something original based on the examples, which are available on the CBS website.

 ­Complete your commitments for the “3 Pillars” Mitzvah Program and hand in any written materials to Cantor Stoehr.

2 -4 Weeks Before …

 ­Turn in the Aliyah-Honor sheet.

 Meet with Rabbi Melman in the Sanctuary to run through the service.

 ­Provide your final Kiddush count to Brenda.

   Meet with ritual director in the sanctuary so that your child can become comfortable reading from the Torah scroll and singing into the microphone.

The week of…

 ­ Remain calm. Your child is well prepared and everything will run smoothly! 

 Take pictures and video as previously scheduled through Maria in the office.

 Drop off kippot, head-coverings and any “3 Pillars” Mitzvah Program display materials.

The Shabbat of …

 Attend and participate in Friday evening services with family

 Arrive at the synagogue by 9:00 AM Saturday morning.

 Hug and kiss your child.  Tell your child you love him/her and that you are proud.                  

Smile and enjoy the service...it all goes by so quickly. :)



Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planner
Long-term Planning Book
Short-term Planning Book

CBS News & Events

Saturday, October 19, 2019 - 4:30pm
Monday, October 21, 2019 - 5:45pm
Thursday, October 24, 2019 - 8:00pm
Sunday, October 27, 2019 - 12:15pm